Hmm

I pass that road daily, each day with sleepy eyes and groggy. Today but was an odd day neither I could nor I could take my eyes off from the road. Quickly we were heading towards are destination  but with every single object pass the urge of discovering the emotion called ‘LOVE’ hit me deep down with intensity. I have been known as THE FEELINGLESS person in history from some very close people. I wont be saying there statement doesn't matter to me but yes, they no longer effects me. OK! so we were discussing some love things. I am certainly not sure why certain feeling of knowing LOVE hit me this morning but yes! I enjoyed noticing things that I never did previously .. :)

- illusiOn ~

The " I " Factor !

Silently I was walking along the shores.. feeling they are whispering something to me.. what though i don't know but they were defiantly saying something to me something that was soothing me.. my feeling and yeah my hot bloody mind.. Each time i try to resolve my mind from all crap but i get failed.. don't know why.. but I do.. I know i am miserable these days.. I know its hurting me.. as being away from my writing it aches, my heart does..

I FactOr !

My hand are trembled and words in my head are jumbled.. I cant write what I want too and Cant do what i want too. I am getting bitter and bitchy dont know the reason I feel i am too selfish for anything.. I am ust tooo touchy on things.. and sympathy isnt working.. I am no more creating things.. Alpi , Andi are though helping me alot to get better as I cvant write them without getting better.. :

-illusiOn~

I am?? ( the "I" factor )

I am what? This is now a question to me.. As no longer I believe anyone .. Its hard feeling so down, so depressed with knowing the reason i feel as if my hands are tighten up with a rope sitting on a chair without knowing the reason of becoming a hostage I feel myself as a coward.. Why I cant take a stand when I will be old enough to.. And whats the guaranty if I once gets older I will do what now I wanted too? When my turn will come.. Each time I search for a new road I find myself taking a U-turn and coming back to same.. STOP THIS.. Or LET ME END THIS... What if i never get a achance to get older? What if time never give me an authority to take an stand? I WANT THIS TO END..




The truth lies,
beneath my lie,
yes i mistrust you,
and so i must die.



-illusiOn~

P.S( Nothing is wrong with me these are just my thoughts..)
P.S.S( Take it just as a writting.. )