Something.. more then a relaity.. more then a fact..

I dont know why i wrote it.. what made me.. but.. i did.. and here it is..

Mujhe hameesha aisa lagta raha k main or tum ik he kashti ke do muasfir hain or is guman main kabhi pata he naheen chala k main or tum na sirf mukhtalif raston k musafir hain bulkay humaray lkhuwab, mazilain sab he kuch alag hai hum to bas milay thay ghari do ghari k liye bilkul aise he jaise do musfir ik he rastay par kuch dair safr kartay hoay, saath chaltay hoay, ik dosray ko ik muskurahat se nawaz diya karte hain bas yehi haqiqat hai meray tumaharay is benaam rishtay ki. Han! mera gumaan tha tumhara saath .. tumhari humrahi, shyed meray lashaur k kisi goshay ki nanhi se khuwahish thi.. bas ik khuwahish..

Jantay ho ab jo yeh mulaqat apne anjaam ko aa pohanchi hai to yun lag raha hai k main lab-e-ja'an hon .. neem murda halat main .. tumhain yun yaad kar rahi hon jaise koi dam-e-marg sokhay galay main chubhnay walay kanton ki shidat se, us dard se bachnay k liye, ja'an kani ki halat main pani ko talab karta hai, bilkul aisi hi talb hai meri tumharay liye.. magar tumhain kiun fikr hogi k tumharay liye to aj tak humara rishta koi rishta he na tha to dard ho bhi to kiun .. Jana bhi zaroori hai k rasta abhi baqi hai magar jantay ho manzil par pohanchnay tak main har bar palat kar dekhti rahon gi k tumharay laut anay ka imkaam hameesha meri ankhon main rahega .. dil main rahega .. wajood main rahega.. Ab tum chaho lauto ya na lauto main is imkaan ko maqsad-e-hayat bana kar safar ki baqi sobatain teh karlon gi magar manzil par pohanchna ab or bhi mushkil hoga k humrahi ki surat main ab tum naheen honge.. Meri jeet par taali bajanay ke liye tumharay do mazboot hath naheen honge.. mujhe sahara denay k liye tumhara kandha naheen hoga magar ik tumharay janay se kia main akaili waqai hojaon gi? kia koi meray saath naheen hoga..? Agar yeh sach hai to phir .. Kia mera muslmaan kehlana khud ko jaiz hoga? Kia ik tumharay janay se mera har khushi ko bhool jana sahih hoga? Kia ik tumharay zindagi se nikal janay par main bilkul besahara hojaongi? Agar yeh saray khudshay sahih hain meri sooch sahih hai to kia mujhe haq hai main khud ko MUSLIM keh la sakoon? Main jo baray fakhar se 18 saal tak apne har forum par religion k agay ISLAM or MUSLIM likhti rahi kia main dhoka deti rahi har ik ko sameet apnay?

-illusiOn~

Khuwahish !

Khuwahish!

Ye meri beti ka kamra hai jise maray hoay teen din ho chukay. Aj uska soyam tha. Meri beti sab larkion se alag honay ki dawedar thi jab k yehi baat mjhe uski sab se aam lagti thi. Ye naheen tha ke wo meri ikloti olaaad thi na he ladli beti bas thori si khudsar, ziddi or mun-phutt si lerki thi (is baat par kisi ko shak nahin tha sewaye uskay) ussay ab lagnay laga tha ke jaise wo bilkul akaili hogai hai uski maa to kia main bhi ussay pyar naheen karti . Wo jab kabhi ghussay main ati yehi kehti ;
main mar bhi jaon gi to kisi ko kon sa farq parega main kon sa kisi ka beta hon! Ziyada se ziyada do roz sog manain ge sab.
main jab uski ye jazbati batain sunta hameesha hansta! Or us waqt ussay duniya ke gool ghumnay se lekar meray hansnay tak par ayteraz hota (main uskay jama kiye novels dekh raha tha. Usay ye shoq maa bap se virasat main mila tha). Usay duniya ko khud se taskheer karna acha lagta tha. Uska kamra hameesha bikhra rehta (main uskay takiye [pillow] par haath rakha) magar marne se pehlay wo isse itna saaf kar gai thi ke lag raha tha jaise wo abhi yaheen kisi konay se nikal kar ayegi mujhe betha daikhe gi hairan hokar or kahegi 'papa ap yahan kia kar rahain hain?'
Ye kamra meri beti ka sab se pasandeedah gosha [corner] tha ghar ka. Main apni beti k saray shikway dor karna chahta tha, ussay batana chahta tha ke main usse utna he pyar karta hon jitna apne baqi bachon se. Han ussay sab se ziada dantta tha magar isliye kaheen wo bigar na jaye. Tabhi meri biwi meray pass ayi .

"ye apkay liye aya tha" usne ik packet meri taraf barahaya, main ne oper uske chehray par nazar ki to wo bhi nam-alood tha shayed ussay bhi apne beti ki yad arahi hogi.

"kia hai ismain?" main ne usay pocha , usnay lailmi ka izhar kia or janay lagi. Main ne ussay darwaza band karkay janay ko kaha.

Packet khola to usmain ik card or kuch cheezain theen jin main ik leather ka wallet, ik kurta shalwar or ik parcha shamil tha. Main ne card uthaya (father's day ka card hoga) main ne sochtay sochtay card khola magar kholnay par pata chala ke wo to valentines day especial tha ( main hairan hoa bhala valentines day wish karne wala mjhe kon hosakta hai? ) card par meray naam ke ilawa chand satrain likhi hoi theen.

Although I hate Valentine's Day but this year,
I wished someone to be my valentine !
Who else it could be but you.
So will you be my valentine Dad?

Main ne ansoon ko saaf kiya aur nazam wala parcha uthayaparhna shuru kiya to ehsaas hoa ke ye to shayed wohi wali nazm hai jiska mazak meray betay mazak ura rahay thay, usne yeh poem kisi conest main bhi bheji thi shayed isi baat par mazak ura rahay thay main ne nazam ko ik bar phir ghor se parhna shuru kia;

Come With Me Before I Leave!

Death is on its way,

But before leaving you behind,

All alone on your own,

I've a feeling,

I should return once to you,

All the precious moments,

That you really deserve,

I want to hug you,

Kiss you and embrace you,

Like never before,

So that whenever you see yourself,

in a mirror or in someone's eyes,

It reminds you the love of mine,

The feel of mine,

As i want to live in you,

Yes! I knw i am in you,

But after me i know,

Your life will not stop,

Even i dont want so,

As all i want is just to,

LOVE YOU!
PROTECT YOU
&
INSPIRE YOU!

Main ne nazzam ke akhir main dekha to mujhe mukhtib karke meri beti ne do lines likheen theen;

Dad! ye nazam main ne apke liye likhi thi koi

man he naheen raha jisne

bhi parhi usne kaha ye koi dad k liye naheen

likh sakta main apki boht achi beti

naheen hon sirf achi bhi naheen hon magar

dad mujhe maaf kardijiyega or ye cheezain rakh

lejiye ga! kash main apko ye khud deti or app ko
agar cheezain pasand ati to app bhai ki tarhan

mujhe bhi galay lagatay! hai na dad!

Main ne apne apko apne bazon main bhench lia meri beti ko meray galay lagnay ka kitna shoq tha. Kash Papa ki jan! tum yahan hoteen to papa tumhain galay lagatay ik bar phir batatay ke wo tum se kitna pyar karte hain. Kash! Tum ye pehlay papa ko parhwateen to yun khali khuwahish liye to na jateen! Kash PAPA tumhari ye khuwahish puri kardetay! Kash Tum aj zinda hoteen!

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This is just another piece of mine. Hope you will feel and enjoy it while reading, as i enjoyed and i feeled while writting it! All thanks to my dad as while i wrote this he was away and his apartness made me write this! Readers please comment and suggest!

Thank-you!

- illusiOn!