Sunday, July 25, 2010

I was being used…

Sunday, July 25, 2010 6
We all often hear and say the line ‘ I was being used ’ after being hurt by our loved ones. Well to be honest this is the first thing that hits your mind when someone let you down because of whatever reason. The after effects may vary from person to person and heart to heart but they are mostly unforgettable. I am not here to repeat all those things which are already in you or you have been through. I was hit by this idea last evening when I was bit angry on some issues and was busy in making faces.

Well, you may not agree to this but do think at least once about it.
I don’t agree with the word web and its results, I mean OK I look for words in it but this is too created by one of us. Errors are possible! OK if it means taking advantage but then we all take advantage of one an another. I mean why do most of us mind in being used? even me! We do use each other intentionally or un-intentionally. Whatever the relation we share, no matter who we are we do use people and they use. As far as my learning says problem arise when you are not paid or you don’t get a return of what you did for someone. But then this is the only way possible, to judge and know what kind of people surrounds you. I know when you are hurt, you are numb and dumb, I mean seriously this happens. But then that’s the big time of changing  yourself, strengthening the I .
For example, you use a servant for daily household chores, servant never complains as long as he is being paid. This means satisfaction is obtained. But incase he/she leave your work or demand for a raise in salary that will probably because he/she feels being USED as more work is taken then the wage.
Similarly, you are used by people you love on anything, may it be a favor or help. The only time you are hit with a ‘ BEING USED ’ feeling is when the return is not sufficient or not satisfactory. The moment you think you are giving more to a relation then its return to you by another, the feeling of ‘ BEING USED ’ arises. We normally don't realize that there is a give and take rule surrounding our whole life.
So next time, whenever you have this feeling of being used, exploit  arrives think about what's the main reason ? Its not the ‘being used’ element its just that you either expecting a little high from the other one, or its something that is lacking. As you are using things and people and you are used by them too.
I may sound fishy or complete non-sense but this is where I am different…

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Head n Heart game… (part 2)

Thursday, July 22, 2010 4


Next 3 days went like usual I didn’t even had a glimpse of him. I don’t know why but yes I was thinking about him all the time. My brother was still angry so he was forgiven and with that  On the third day when I was convinced that it all was the result of all the romantic fantasized novels I love to read but hey! as far as I know I am a very practical kind of person. Though I enjoyed reading them but since when I started believing them? I cursed my self. I rushed back home and quickly I changed my clothes for nap. I love sleeping, as it was so far my only love. I escape lunch and lied on my bed but couldn’t sleep again with him on my head I mean WTF is wrong with me. I made myself assured that tomorrow only I am going to do something about it not assured of what but yes something. Later that evening I was informed that I need to go along with my parents to attend a wedding. While looking for a suitable dress I empty my whole wardrobe and I chose a green dress. I went near mirror and place it next to my body and I looked in mirror and there I saw him again. He was there sitting in my open window, the best corner of my room. His eyes were focusing me and I again couldn’t find enough strength to turn and say anything to him… I looked down avoiding him and I heard him speaking for the very first time.

‘ Why don’t you try this red! ’ He pointed out red which was gifted to me by a friend of mine. A very traditional work of thread with combination of green and coffee color which was  enhancing the beauty of red…

I looked up and he was not there, I cursed myself and I was sure that I was suffering from hallucination and that’s sit.  I was still with that green frock in front of mirror  when my sister came in. Frowning face as if she is going to vomit and as this clicks my mind I just think a bit loud;

‘ If you are feeling like vomit I should be clearing you that this is not your washroom but my room so please… ( I mumble LEAVE ) ’.
‘ I know its useless coming to you, you FAUNA! mama wants you to hurry up ’ she left …  I sighed and dressed in green avoiding my heart which was forcing me to get dressed in red O_O. I put on my accessories, shoes and I rushed down. Through out the function I was seeking him. I was having a feeling that he is watching me. Later that night we step back home and step in my room with small and silent steps but my room was empty. To be honest I was disappointed not because of him but because of my thoughts, may be because I wanted him to be with me. I changed my clothes, re-arrange my ward-robe and I sat down resting my back with bed’s wall  with close eyes. People say when you need a quick rest close your eyes, I believe when you need to think a bit high and loud close your eyes as this way your mind just don't follow the ways your eyes shows but it discovers more. I don’t know why but I missed my friends, the older ones who once were with me but now they are no more in my life. May be I am wanting him just because of vacant space in my life… I slept there only thinking,reasoning and predicting him when someone touched me…


- UnhingeD

Head n Heart game… (part 1)

Like every other time I faced fight of my family over me bravely and quietly left the lounge as I knew its useless standing there nobody is going to feel me while they are way too busy. My family is cool but I guess I am just the odd one out ever since I open the eyes and cried ( my birth time) … I sighed and took step ahead towards the yard side . It was small but enough for me as it was the only thing that was sustain by my family and it didn’t go through a renovation like exterior and interior of my house after my grand fathers death. As I sat on the only bench there I again had the same feeling of having someone around me. Someone who is close to me and could see me. I turned around and I looked down the bench and every possible place but again was unable to see anyone. The odd thing was I was fine with the presence though could feel someone's breath down my neck. I placed my head on bench  and before I could shut my eye lids I saw someone. I open my eyes wide, the guy was sitting on the wall. I blink my eyes but could not possible strength to talk to him so I just stared him for long . I heard my sister calling me and I turned to see but when I turned back I saw no one… He was disappeared O_O . I went back to my room after sometime and opened my books for next days assignments. I usually used to sleep by 1:30 a.m but because of work I stayed up till late. It was 3:00 a.m when I was giving final touched to my work and had to rush to my room to bring water as I was working on terrace as my room wasn’t enough for all this mess. I came back with in no time and his presence took my breath away. He was sitting on one of the couches giving my work a closer look. My footsteps made him look up and he smiled and I fainted. I put my whole strength not to behave like fools. He was probably making me scared that’s sit. I made myself believe that he was card of my nasty brother who was mad on me since he was accused by dad because of me though it was all unintentional. I ignored him and started packing my work I opened the case and carefully packed my sheets within plastic ones and placed them in the case. While doing this I looked up and was about to scream as the couch was empty, he disappeared again!  I was turning mad or …


- UnhingeD!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I never had a HONEY-PIE !

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 7

Hey! Remember me? No! I am the same guy who told you the tale of his family kicking him, and the encounter? No! I mean how can you forget aunty? OK! I am Ed well, that what my whole world calls me… This time with something very serious that recently hit me . I am here to complain and yell my heart out… Can you imagine I am 20 years old and never had a girl in my entire 20 years of life… Because of again these reasons;

  • I have too many ideas.
  • I dont have a single clue of romance.
  • There problems are never problems for me.
  • I can’t shut my mouth not even for her (them).


CASE NO # 1: Sanum

It was Tuesday when I saw her again, the same innocent face, wrath on something. I was doing my work when Ehsan asked me to turn and when I did I felt like my body is going to break into pieces. OMG! she was coming to our table, I looked Ehsan then moved my eyes to Samar and AP (Ali Paracha). She came and started talking to Shiza. Her presence overwhelmed me but couldn’t stop my tongue and I said;

‘ Chal Ehsan! ’
‘ Kidr? ’
‘ Dekh naheen raha barish ho rahi hai! ’ Ehsan was staring me with open mouth as I was gathering my things.
‘ Pagal hogaya hai? Kahan ho rahi hai barish? Ik tufan(phet) aaraha tha wo bhi ullu bana k nikal gaya ’ He was still sitting
‘ Aby yar aaraha hai. Lerkion se pooch lo ye tabhi to 3-quarter pehne hain ’ I said and left quickly as I know if I would have stayed for long those cats do have long nails…

CASE NO # 2: Zara

‘ Baby! I am failing this subject! ’ I stared her and then I looked my self from neck to toe ( I cant see my head na! ) 5"11 with normal built I was known as quite handsome guy then on what earth she was calling me a BABY!!. As far as I remember :|

Result day I saw her crying and when was sympathized she made us shocked as she was crying because she got 45 out of 50. I stared my friend and he texted me something thats common these days but made me laugh badly;

“ A girl was asked on a result day her percentage and she wiping her tears replied 80% only and shockd guy replies ‘ tm is pe ro ri ho itne me to 2 larke pass hojate hain’ "

I laughed and when she asked I loudly said what was written… (further details will only be provided if inquired/asked) :P :P

- Unhinged !

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