Yak-tarfa (One sided)

Koi tum se bhi, ab! agar poochay to tum bhi keh dena, ye sab rishtay ajab he hain. Sab he ke rang niralay hain. Koi ehsaas ki manind hameesha saath rehta hai, koi chand ki manind bdli me chupta phir nikalta hai, koi phol ke jaise nazakat se sanwarta hai or koi kaanch ke jaise hameesha chubhta rehta hai. Ye sab rishta alag se hain sab he k andaz juda se hain. Magar yeh sab yaak-tarfa rishte hain. Mein ne sari umr yeh apni inhe soochon me guzari hai, taluq yak-tarfa naheen hotay. Ye dastoor he naheen inka, magar ab jo inko jiya hai to samjh me agaya ab ye k sab kuch he hum se hain. Han bas fark itna hai hai k jisse taluq ho uski ummeed ka mehwar bhi hum he hojate hain. Sab he lafz, sab he batain, sab he rasmain, sab he rang tum se he rehtay hain. Koi roothe tu hum chootay ki tafseer ban jana, wo na bolay to gum sum tasveer ban jana, bhala kahan ki yeh sharafat hai?? Kia ye mohabbat hai, ye ibadat hai…

- UnhinGed ~

Thought # 0 paragraph 5 :P

Mujhe naheen maloom har ghum ki aziyat ik jaisi he hoti hai ya kuch ghum dosron se baray hotay hain. Mujhe aj bhi yad hai main bhi har bachay ki tarhan sahil k pass matti k gharonday (ghar) bana kar bohat khush hoti thi, pani ki har onchi lehr ko ata dekh kar uskay gird hath yun rakh leti thi jaise mere hath us gahr ki hifazat kar lain ge. Usay bacha lain ge! Wo onchi lehrain sirf un mitti k gharon ko he naheen meri umeed meri khushion sab ko ghari bhar k liye he sahi apne hajam(size) se dara deti theen. Aj itnay sal guzar janay k bad bhi wo lehrain mujhe mehsoos hoti hain. Wo dar aj bhi lagta hai, wo halat mukhtalif hain. Ab na wo matti k gharonday hain na sahil k pass wo ghar bananay ka waqt. Zindagi to badal gayi laikin wo asasa chin janay ka khauf aj bhi mere andar mojood hai. Us waqt ki tarhan aj bhi main khamosh hun. Hathon ko ghardon k gird rakh kar jis tarhan tahafuz dene ki sayi (koshish) karti thi usi tarhan aj bhi har tofan ka muqabla karte hoay khud ko mazbooti se khara rakhnay ki koshish zaroor karti hun. Dar achi cheez hai ye humin ehsaan dilata hai k koi sheh humaray liye kitni zaroori hai par kabhi kabhi yeh andar se yun kuch khatum kardeta hai k admi sans bhi leta hai or mar bhi jata hai…

P.S( I am perfectly fine not upset at all… its just a thought) :)

- UnhinGed!

be-rabt!

Mujhe naheen maloom shayer shairi main kisko khojtay rahte hain. Kia gulaab ka zikr krte hoay bhi wo us pari-wsh ki tasveer ankhon main sajaye hotay hain ya dehaaan main bas woi gulaab uski narmi basi hoti hai. Mujhe ye bhi naheen maloom bananay wala khoobsurti ko, kamal par foqiyat deta hai ya naheen. Mujhe bas itna pata hai k mera din dhalnay se lekar subh-e-sehr tak unwannay guftago ik he zaat hai. Kuch soochain hoti he itni haseen hain k alfaaz unke liye kam par jatay hain wo to phir shaks hai. Main naheen chahti k wo kabhi bhi yeh parhay meri tehreeer samjh kar magar kabhi parhay agr to un andekhay jazbat ko jinhun ne majboran mujh se ye likhwaya. Main ab tak halat-e-khuwab main hon, ho sakta hai jab ankh kholay to yeh sab mojood he na ho magar jo abhi hai wo haseentareen hai. Hosakta hai wo mujhe na chahta ho magar meri mohabbat k liye yeh zaroori he kab raha hai ab ya shayed yeh bhi ik farzi baat hai. Abhi khuwab main hon to kehna asaan hai. Han uski judayi shaaak hogi dil par magar ……

State…

Ages back I wrote a whole story on state of being alone and loneliness. But time this time chosen me to experiment loneliness being alone. Both the state when are chosen by you seems to be a blessing but when they are rewarded to you, you are hostage with infinite thoughts and negative energy. energy can neither be created nor can be destroyed I raatta-fied (memorized) it for my physics papers 10th grade not even understanding that we all need to keep on bringing improvements in  our inner  energies ..

Be-rabtagi…

Agr ye lafz kafi hon to main likhon mujhe jo kuch be likhna hai, ‘me’ se ‘tum’ ka safar ab te’h he karna hai. Naheen ye nazm, jisse tum bhool jaoge. Naheen ye khat jisse tum gar jaldo to saboot-e-mohabbat mit he jayega. Mere aghaz se lekar mere anjam tak ye safar bohat he be-yaqee’n sa hai. Karon main kia k yahan jeena he itna mushkil hai… Bas sanson ki he rawani hai. Na Rawaiyon main wo pehlay si khush-numayi hai, na guftar me wo halawat hai. Yahan to wo alam hai k ghubaray bhi phathain to dar sa lagta hai. Hujoom dekh kar sansain apni raftar kho bethti hain. Zameen jo pani se dhulnay ki adi thi wo khud par  behta hoa lahoo dekhay bhi to kaise? Mujhe na janay kiun ye lagta hai zameen jab khiraj apna mangay gi tab karain ge kia?? Ye khudsakhta bekhuaf deen k muhafiz kahain ge kia, karain ge kia? Gar KHUDA ko ghazab aya??

:S

I don't know if things, people and expectations are too important in ones life that your own self is ignored by none other than you. I am alone on the roof and feeling lonely. You might be thinking why I used word ‘lonely’ when I already mention ‘alone’. It is because I beleive loneliness and being alone are two entire different state. I might not be correct but when this blog was made by me to write things that are correct. Change is yes constant but living with it, coping all your life just with changes it seems difficult but yes changes when unconsciously take place, we all adapt them as easily and pepsi’s new packaging.

Memories….

I was young when I used to see my elders a little sad while burning some letters, papers or a note I always wonder why being sad when you are tearing them yourself. Time passed away leaving so many ‘ why’s, what’s ’ for me. Last night while burning all those memories of you, having tears in my eyes explained me its not words on those papers that makes you cry but the immense feelings attached. Why burning of papers when you can never burn up the memories attached.