Keeping mom in my mind I tried hard not to get pissed off and live, at least pretend that I am fine. I had a responsibility of a father who was still not good in state of health, I knew if I just showed him how shattered I am he will take it all on his head. Life was never a piece of cake to me but this was surely not the worst. I went quite, isolated though I knew its of no use. I always believed escape is not a solution. It never is but what I need was a little silence as my soul was tired of wild and crazy noises that were banging my head hard. I left coming online this doesn't mean I left internet but yeah! I quite blogging, chatting, almost every mean of communication. Switched my cell-phone. Although I knew I cant take this attitude of mine as long term but that was the only thing I could do at instant. And then I got a call from my mom whom I was avoiding because yes the rejection was not easy for me. I never been through a phase where I could bear a NO , I was a spoiled yet a favorite child of my family. My father couldn’t bear a single tear in my eye. I talked her and made her sure that I am doing fine as from such distance nothing she could do except of getting worried for me which I didn't wanted. Although I wanted to tell her nights are the most unbearable part of a single day . Sleep was all I want but each time when I go to bed I feel like I can never sleep so many ‘Why’s’ ‘if’s’ and ‘buts'’ hit my mind hard enough that the sign of sleep vanishes away. I wanted to yell in front of her , I wanted to show the pain I have restored in my heart but couldn’t as I was not a perfect daughter but still wanted to be one. I felt like I am lost. My MP3 was filled with low numbers, colors were replaced. I felt like I am loser even with all love of my parents I was a complete failure. My mom cried out when she came to know that I am considering myself as a loser. I wanted her to be back but my lips were sealed I was conjured by the fact that I have to protect my parents and have to make them believe that no matter even if I am loser I know how to take care of my loved ones..
I needed an stair case to climb up , up to success, to brightness but all I could see was nothingness and it reminds me of ecstasy …
- illusiOn ~
P.S ( This is fiction+reality so no offense. Its a journey of a girl who went down because of a mishap and then how she gains her strength back )
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16 blogger feels ..:
like da flow! keep it goin....is sure keepin me engrossed! :)
tc!
the end of that ladder to success is never near, at times u can see only nothingness.. dont give up! :)
Thank you maverick.. its pleasure ihope i will be able to write as i want too
Vinay
Yes i agree.. its true.. but still we wait for it to end though soemtimes ends turns out totally different then what we hope ...
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Now here's a shoe-in for the list of the year's best gaming-related clothing : Adidas has brought back its ZX 5 hundred running shoe, and, since it originally comes from the '80s, the gaming galvanized design and coloring is a simple choice ... Right? The kicks won't be the coolest part of the deal, either ; they come packaged with a combo bracelet/USB flashdrive containing ZX Runner, a PC game primarily based on ... The shoe itself.
GameCulture writes that the game stars a character named'DJ Zed' who, according to Adidas, has five minutes to'run, moon-walk, climb walls, avoid some dodgy-looking thugs, collect power-ups, and pull off insane rooftop-to-rooftop stunts' to get on-stage before his set starts. It looks fittingly retro -- see for yourself in the video we've included after the breakdance.
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