I am?? ( the "I" factor )

I am what? This is now a question to me.. As no longer I believe anyone .. Its hard feeling so down, so depressed with knowing the reason i feel as if my hands are tighten up with a rope sitting on a chair without knowing the reason of becoming a hostage I feel myself as a coward.. Why I cant take a stand when I will be old enough to.. And whats the guaranty if I once gets older I will do what now I wanted too? When my turn will come.. Each time I search for a new road I find myself taking a U-turn and coming back to same.. STOP THIS.. Or LET ME END THIS... What if i never get a achance to get older? What if time never give me an authority to take an stand? I WANT THIS TO END..




The truth lies,
beneath my lie,
yes i mistrust you,
and so i must die.



-illusiOn~

P.S( Nothing is wrong with me these are just my thoughts..)
P.S.S( Take it just as a writting.. )