Sentiments ! - ( From The Dark Tunnel )

I don't know why I was rejected and so my colleagues who got chance to work there, the place I always dreamed about. I felt liking punching them on their nose straight but then what there fault was. They were not the people who kicked me out. I considered myself a very religious person though people in my surrounding may disagree as I don't seem to be one. Yeah its my mistake that I don't offer prayers as regularly as I should be but my prayers were rejected for my betterment I don't believe it even. I know there must be something that was missed may be the faith was not that strong  by me only my LORD loves me like no one but I never understand few things and I don’t know whom to ask as people have a different stories within them and I hate sharing my beliefs and faith with anyone, within my family even. I don't believe when people say God didn't gave you this even on your so much pray because this was not good for you, I think that we only pray when things go beyond our reach, when you are drowning even then only you ask for help not always you do that. I wanted Allah to console me, silly of me I know but it was hard for me to believe that I was rejected by them after such a great interview. The thoughts of mine always hit me hard like this only. I know soon everything will be fine this time will too pass by but what to do in this time is important. I know or I don't now, I’m on a last stage of nothingness.  I  agree I need counseling only if there is any chance that Allah comes to do. I know I am just not a normal bloody human psychological case, I am superlative so I need HIM only. I know its so selfish of me to think about my mishap rather then thinking about bigger ones but that is in human nature ( best excuse no? );

Understanding is if that difficult,
Burry me deep in soil,
or let me play the game of mine,
The moments are to be cherishes don't spoil,
I am not gonnna die I wont play safe,
Stronger I am not a foil,
I will fight  till the end make a bet,
So what if problems coil...
It can be restarted if its end,
I will wait so what if today I am roil,
( I know the poem doesn't make sense but ..)
TO BE CONTINUED..
- illusiOnv ~