Submerged mɜ!

 
Growing up, being much mature then your actual is age sounds thrilled, excited and adventurous. You actually are smart, intellectual and above much aware of things then others are at your age but actually a great problem lies here. You are the odd one out, much more difficult is your competition then others have of your age as your maturity level is high and so is your approach. People like these are absolutely normal if surroundings let them be a normal person.  I have been into this world for the past 18 years, like every other kid faced challenges but I never understood relationships and yes! I failed. I know many people here will come and say I am wrong but believe me I am the one who never had relationships like I wanted, there is no way that I am going to blame the people or the surrounding of mine. I certainly and proudly accept that flaws lies in me.. Yes I am tired, I have been titled to be the most negative person of my family but I want to tell all my people that I am no very much tired of losing myself again again for some moron. I know its way too harsh of me calling some respectful people of my society as morons but I stand with my words. I am listening to one of my least favourite bands “JAL” I guess its good listening to people you hardly want to listen. There is no problem with them but I guess there music is not my type. I am extremely sorry boys. I don’t know why I am writing all this but not for sympathies off course. I hate when people make their own way of looking at my personality guess my impressions are never that strong. I feel like my body if of this era but my soul it belongs to decades back may be the 18th century. Yes I lie that I am happy without people who left because of no reason yes I lie as I find no other way to survive with the fact. Its easy saying ‘ accept and move ’ I have accepted, even forgiven but how to erase my memory?? I don't know. I don’t have complains as I know fault is mine I choose wrong people or I may say I choose wrong time to be with them. Friend! you are right ‘ A cup of tea is a cup of tea, and a business deal is business deal ’ , and you know what I still don’t know the difference.

I don’t know how long it will take me to forget all what had happen, it was never that severe, I accept it never was but I am still unable to leave it in my past. I have been away and I was missed by myself the most. I am a hard-core, and yes I am not ashamed of what I am surely I can bring changes in me but only if I feel like. I need friends like every other person of my age but the problem is I don’t know what suits me best. What’s my combo of friendship. I guess I had enough on my account, I better get going and hit the sheets. Its late, almost morning and if now I don’t go to bed I will be knockdown by my mother as she hates her children spoiling there morning sleeping.

Chaos!
- illusiOn ~